The good news to start with: ideal weight and model-look are the last things a woman needs to look attractive. Germany sex-pope Anne West says, what really matters: the gear, the Laughter, charm, magical looks, Aura, personality – and, above all, the Knowledge of her erotic capital.

The eternal game of seduction

Friday night, a Club on St. Pauli. I raise the average age with my 37 ½ appreciable, but fortunately, it is half-dark. Around me, I see the eternal game of seduction and seduction: women and men trying to impress each other. Flirt, pure, just.

The big Blonde over there: it looks perfect but looks visibly bored in the air. Does that work? Or over there: the eyeglass wearer, Kinky haircut, a bit chubby – she has her dance partner laughing with a cheeky grin. And outside, on the terrace, I see a brunette in a suit of trousers, she listens, laughs, gesticulates – she visibly feels at home in her presence.

What about me? I’m not looking for a man, I do field research according to the “certain Something”. The” something ” men swarm about when they talk about an irresistible woman! Is it a beauty? Not when she sits there without expression. Is it Frank’s clothes? Certainly a universal eye-catcher, but not a sustainable men’s bait. It is breast, pouty lips, tight bum?

What is the “certain something” of an irresistible woman?

Frills: I know about 42 recent attractiveness studies and five dozen men who told me what they find sexy about the overall concept of woman. They all tell about attributes beyond optical stimuli: self-irony. Wink, wink. If she can cook. Wearing a red dress. Smile. A gait in which the hips move. Intelligence, Education, Courage. Listen. Feeling visibly comfortable in his body. And Sex Appeal, this diffuse charm of personality, appearance, and tone of touch, which does not need a mini skirt or lipstick to act.

The erotic capital of women

After all, it was a woman who got to grasp the phenomenon and called it the “erotic capital”: the US economist and sociologist Catherine Hakim. It defines five building blocks with which women enchant: self-confidence and presentation, social interaction, Lust For Life, sexual competence and courage for femininity.

The best part about this Portfolio: it reveals the beauty cult as a transitory investment. All the required talents are created in every woman-it is only necessary to recognize and cultivate their own strengths within this “stock package”. Are you ready for a Fund-analysis?

Self-confidence and presentation

The mystery of the invisible dress

A woman enters my field research Disco. She looks present and attractive, although she is not a Model beauty, wears dress size 42 and has only made up her eyes. Thanks to Mrs. Hakim, I know that Lady 42 has gained self-confidence and presentation skills!

Your attitude expresses: I am, as I am real. And I like it. The admirer in Position, while the chic blonde babe remains alone… Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, but the most important observer are you! About 200 times we look at women daily in the mirror and judge mostly not very nice: “I’m too thick. My breast is too small, my Butt to this, my thigh to the…“

This self-criticism dampens their charisma, is like a gray, unshakeable dress. Banish the illusion spell: whoever likes, appreciates, has peace with his makings, the effect is more present, more attractive and more attractive. Start today :

Your hands see more

Drive with closed (!) Eyes your body with the fingers. Your sense of touch is much more gracious than the eyes, the hands to “see” your actual beauty: the delicacy of the skin, curves, and bulges, which are fantastic in the Hand.

In this way, they “comprehend” their physical grandeur. You trust your hands and enjoy the fact that a man with his fingers looks three times as intense as you and he thinks at the sight of less: what a state! As a matter of fact: Hmm, delicious, how does it feel?

Details are important

Men’s brains are bribed. They only perceive what is clearly presented to them! Precisely this evolutionary focus on details has also used Lady 42 when she stressed her eyes and ignored her blemish!

Search, find and highlight what is amazing about you: the wonderfully curved neck, graceful hands, long calves or flashing eyes, a great Gang, a smile that will make all the lights flash. Each woman has several worshipful Details in it – what do you think of them?

Show your leg, and no man will look after your little bush; show a smile spraying with the joy of life, and your hairstyle is secondary. You camouflage your weaknesses with your Strengths – this is also much more relaxed than the 17. Diet …

The magic of the red dress

When men see red, the attractiveness increases: exactly the same women were judged to be more erotic by men as soon as they wore some red! And yes, that’s true for red high heels.

The silence of colors and accessories is not to be underestimated: If you want to Express, for example, “I am hard to get, but it’s worth it to try it”, then you wear things that are “hard to get”; rare stones or pearls, expensive-looking clothing, the materials, and, psst, this gave me a Men understander: neat Shoe heels! There’s nothing wrong with a good performance.

Social Interaction

Via exciting laughter and sensual listening

On the summer terrace pantsuit is miss still enchant your partner with words, looks, and your laugh. Compliments are foreplay for the soul, female laughter is associated with sexual arousal, and interested to make sympathetic – all this and more belongs to the art of social interaction and is probably the best capital in your Eros-Fund.

And durable for life: when the youth goes, the charm remains … Each woman has individual communication strengths: one has a quick mind and ability to strike, the other has a grandiose Humor, the next can feel good. You don’t have to play what you’re not – but play your authentic strengths at every opportunity:

Big talk instead of small talk

Listening has become a rare commodity. Most of them are so keen to make themselves interesting that they forget to care for others. Pay attention to the weighting of listening and Talking, To ask her how he became what he is today.

No man is interested in pure Small Talk, become personal! Give him the opportunity to be spiritually rich through sophisticated conversation content; in our time of SMS and Twitter blasphemies make your presence all the more desirable for him.
Don’t just be nice to him

Yes, compliments act like honey for men’s Ego – if you praise something about him, which makes him insecure! The Lightning in his eyes, the way he makes a brief pause for thought before he answers them… Never praise the obvious, do others.

And even this shameless tip escaped from the poison cabinet of the communication researcher: be rude if you are the ready-to-beat type! Tease him, pull him up-real interest paired with affection and Terry is a Cocktail that his Psyche can not resist.

Mistrust stereotypes

Women were given empathy, the Talent to empathize. It’s your greatest potential: see the man as he is and no other. “Yes, how else?”Listen to the truth, but they don’t believe how many times clichés behind us overwhelm you!

Then we sit there and think: he is a man, so he is interested in football, cars, big bosom and allergic to sentimental or salads. Do not assume anything you do not know – he will find it deeply stimulating that you do not equate him with stereotypes.

They say it deeper

A woman’s voice can express more eroticism than a battalion of patent leather boots. Scarlett Johanssen: her original voice is as dark as melting dark chocolate.

Play with your voice, speak slower-and think a point at the end of all questions. This is a Trick from the Manager Coaching: questions that are spoken as findings, leave you more sovereign and self-confident. Two more factors for Sexiness!

Laughing is like Sex

Before sex: don’t ask why, but men associate the Humor of a woman with her excitability. Laugh turns them on. Giggle, laugh, yell at his jokes – but only the good ones! I want him to make an effort, it needs his pride.

To do this, a pinch of self-irony and, if you like, kindness: So you create an incredibly light-hearted mood. By the way, this lightness of being is something men feel as sexy and erotic – or in other words, a woman’s laughter is for men the Vibrator for the brain.

Love of life

What kind of soul champagne do you offer?

I have now looked again for the cool beautiful blonde. Still sitting in a perfect Pose, like a painting. And like a painting, the men pass by.

She’s blowing up her Pony. Then she goes dancing, but as if she just doesn’t want to sweat. I wonder if she likes to live?

Lust for life and an energetic, watchful charisma are closely linked to her Temperament and her life experiences. There are many facets to life: the joy of sensuality such as food, sauna, music-making or art. Interest in people and Knowledge. In sunny optimism or curiosity, in travel aptitude, in lust for battle or sports, in the courage to make yourself ridiculous – Lust For Life is the inner smile of a woman.

An inner passion that makes your whole appearance more vivid, erotic and exciting. But there is also external energy that you can cultivate:

The language of the eyes

Nothing about them seems as intense as the direct look. From a ZDF actress I received this tip (which I often forget when I’m in the middle of a conversation – but it works when I think about it!): Let your eyes “blasting”.

Imagine that you have two headlights, you focus on the gentlemen, under your lash line. The effect is a quiet, yet ardent look, your pupils appear larger, you are so THERE!

The certain speed

Men are movement-oriented and can find a woman incredibly sexy because she can “go so nice”. It is not the catwalk stakes with crossed steps, but: upright, relaxed and quiet shoulders, straight-set foot tips, swinging hips, the look is not lowered and please not too fast.

There are sports that prepare for this course: Tai-Chi, Pilates, but also strength training, in which you strengthen your upper back.

Prefer to live passionately

You are a rebel in your heart who whistles “what you do” and “what you belong to”? You don’t know anything about human nature, and do you find individual characteristics better than etiquette? This is a Talent that is very attractive to men: when they meet a woman with whom they can be” impossible”.

She takes the male, forgotten, a bit of silly old dreams seriously-for example, that he wanted to learn to fly and float over the desert at night! The passion does not smile – and be it his for vintage cars. Which speaks of adventures, as if they were immediately possible: breakfast tomorrow morning in Paris, why not, we take your car?

So a woman who takes away your thoughts-this woman you prefer not to let go.

Cool is so out!

My field research on the topic “look cool or prefer to smile naturally?” has revealed: women who showed themselves brittle, “mysterious” or unapproachable, were addressed only by a few men who wanted to “crack” the lady but did not want to know. The majority of the guys preferred to devote themselves to the ladies who smiled shy to bright. Conclusion: Coolness is boring and bloodless.

PS: eat. Women who take nothing in the presence of men or “just what light” with fat – free Dressing-well. Men put food with physical sensuality on one level. You make him an appetite!

Sexual Competence

Being sexy does not mean looking sexy

Deep cleavage, tight leather skirt, red lips: There are many ways to dress erotic (ver). But even the hottest Outfit misses its effect when appearance and attitude do not match-ie: if the erotic self-confidence is only half as high as the high heels!

Visible signals of eroticism are at best the bait, but never the hook on which men get caught. Catherine Hakim chose the term” sexual competence “for the”inner Sex”. It is a combination of personal attitude to pleasure and Sex, knowledge of sexuality and courage and curiosity to find out what else is possible.

Its take your Sex important – not

Most advice about Sex refers to how a woman should like the man. But this is not particularly competent: the most sought-after is the one who shows a man how he can please her!

Sure: men enjoy it when they are finished by line and thread. But even more so if you can feel like a good lover. Give him the opportunity to be active: be lazy, laggy, show him your best places – so make him happy!

Take his Sex important-not that of the general public who goes to bed with a cliché about men, that will only have cliché sex. Trust your own experiences more than anything you’ve read – especially statistics on how many men allegedly love shaved women/women in corsets/Blowjobs in the shower.

Every man loves differently. Your curiosity is the greatest gift you can give him.

Take Sex important-but to become even more

Unrestrained sensuality and an active, prejudice-free play drive: this gives exactly the sexual attitude that attracts insane. And yes, it should be noted to a woman, how she deservedly and stands to her abdomen.

It is often expressed in non-sexual trifles, such as her gait or the way she dances. Whole books have been written about how women take themselves seriously as an erotic being, diminish prejudice and power pressure, and begin to recognize their sexual energy as a force for themselves – because this does not work with a bold Trick and three breathing exercises. You Read? Then you read: for example,” wife ” of Natalie Angier.

The feminine side

I’m a woman, and that’s good. Her femininity, the small (gender) difference, is the fifth aspect of her erotic capital.

If I look around at the Disco like this, there are only two female manifestations: in pants and emphasizes unsexy – and the Luder-Look, emphasizes übersexy. Have we still not recovered from feminism? In the course of equal rights, we were insulted women: you must not be too beautiful to be taken seriously professionally, you must not be too sexy, not to be condemned as cheap!

I wish for a moment to France: the classic French woman carries high heels on every occasion and makes a career – and never would the idea that a feminine Outfit would only betray men, betray women and reduce their professional chances of success.

The Secret: be selfish! Show yourself consistently in Outfits in which you like, not in those in which you correspond to a role picture.

7 things that women do before sex-but would never admit

Sometimes the opportunity for Sex comes quite unexpected-even if you are in a relationship. Spontaneous love games are exciting and great, but also cause women to panic regularly. Sex finally wants to be prepared! So if the Amouresitäten definitely goes in a certain direction, so many women like to jump up and say: “I only go to the bathroom very briefly!”- The man remains back and waits (inevitably) impatiently for her return. But what exactly is she doing in the bathroom during this suddenly called Minute? We’ll reveal the secret!

Last smell check before sex

She is in the bathroom, it’s the pre-Sex checklist: the most important is the clarification of the question whether the body of any unpleasant smells. So be quick and get deodorant under the armpits! You don’t want to drive him away with sour armpit sweat. Clear.

Panic shave

The classic: she has been able to grind shaving lately. No one could have guessed that she could spend some exciting hours with him today! That’s why it says: shave your legs as quickly as possible again smoothly – and the intimate area may also. That depilation can go so fast, even the women would not have thought before such a situation.


Self-explanatory: with a full bladder, Sex becomes a horror trip. Embarrassing situations during the act of love are already pre-programmed. Therefore, women tend to prefer to leave water again, even if there are only a few droplets.

Quick wash

Of course, she wants to smell for him in the best possible way during Sex. Even at the bottom. That’s why: soap and washcloth rubbed down there for a moment! That gives every woman a better feeling. Who knows, after all, which of your body regions he still wants to explore with all his senses?

Turbo teeth brushing

Men, you read quite correctly: possible unpleasant odors are for many women a great topic before Sex. No wonder, then, that the toothbrush has to be used. Oh, you just wouldn’t have eaten the Donner at noon!


Dear women, now let’s be honest with ourselves: when was the last time we put on the matching Slip to the bra? A multicolored combination, of course, looks much less sexy. Maybe even today is our flower-panties day? It would be an absolute nightmare if he had to face it. Therefore: grandma underwear off and sexy lingerie Set on! Since unpacking before Sex also makes him more fun.

If necessary: pull the plug

All men must now be quite strong: but she swims on the red wave, that does not necessarily mean that he gets involved in Sex. If the days are already much weaker, not even blood stains on the bed linen can be feared. But before something can “in” again, of course, something else must first “out” – so quickly get the Tampon out or let the slip insert disappear.


So, now one or woman has checked all the points. Before leaving the bathroom is missing only a last look at the pills pack-did you take them nicely bravely The Last Days and yes not forget? If the answer is positive, then it can go back to him calmly. And even if not, there are still condoms to protect yourself during Sex. Bravo, now it can – at last-go!

Accordingly, love to men: treat women the minute, behind closed doors. Whether it is important to you or not, she will feel more comfortable in her skin and this can only be beneficial in sex!